Your Boat Called. It Wants More Booty. The Ultimate 2025 Boat Day Checklist
Let’s be honest—your boat works hard. It hauls coolers, carries friends, anchors your social life, and still manages to look good on the water. But if your setup is all function and no fun, it might be time to loosen the dock lines and upgrade your vibe.
And yes, according to highly reliable sources (i.e., us), your boat wants more booty. Specifically, the kind that’s inflatable, rubbery, and guaranteed to get people talking. Let’s dive in.
🍑 1. The Booty Boat Bumper (Obviously)
The ultimate conversation starter. It’s not just a boat fender—it’s a floating cheeky legend. Durable, bouncy, and shaped like a cartoon booty, this bumper protects your stern and cracks smiles all over the lake. Bonus points: It inflates through a belly button. You’re welcome.
🍹 2. Floating Drink Caddies
Because hydration (and poolside cocktails) are key to any successful boat day. Grab a floaty that holds your drinks, snacks, and maybe even your Bluetooth speaker. Just don’t let it drift away mid-toast.
🛟 3. Colorful Dock Lines
Standard white ropes? Snooze. Give your boat a little personality with neon or patterned dock lines. It’s the boating equivalent of a glow-up—and your stern deserves the spotlight.
🌊 4. Custom Boat Name Decals
Whether your boat is called Sea Señor, Knot Today, or Floatin’ & Moanin’, let the world know who you are. A well-named boat with a matching bumper? Now that’s a power move.
🎵 5. Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker
Your boat needs a soundtrack. From yacht rock to sandbar bangers, good tunes elevate any float session. Extra points if your playlist includes at least one Shakira song and something from Jimmy Buffett.
🩴 6. Fun Towels & Boat Mats
Deck out your deck with towels and mats that match your boat’s new personality. Think flamingos, pineapples, or something appropriately nautical and absurd.
🛥️ 7. A Captain’s Hat (with Attitude)
Yes, it's a little cliché. No, we don't care. Every captain needs a signature look, and a boat with a booty bumper practically demands a hat to match. Go full throttle on the theme.
🧊 8. Coolers With a Side of Sass
Get yourself a cooler that doesn’t just hold ice—it holds attention. Whether it’s shaped like a treasure chest, a taco, or says "I like big boats," the cooler is your floating pantry and personality piece.
💬 In Conclusion…
Your boat isn’t just a vehicle. It’s your floating alter ego. So let it express itself—with laughs, color, flair, and yes—a little more booty.
Don’t be the boring boat at the sandbar. Be the one people talk about all summer long.